Grandpa's Hot Nuggets: The Hot Chicken Wings Candle

Some days, you just need Grandpa’s Hot Nuggets. You can only take so much of the curated, manufactured, and vaguely-smelling-of-cleanser scents of modern life. Of course, there is nothing wrong with new-car smell or strolls through candle shops, but when walking outside, you can’t help it if the wandering scent of cooked chicken suddenly sends you flying back to Grandpa’s. Besides, it’s 2021 now. Why not have a chicken wing candle?

The oddly uncomfortable couch, the steady and hypnotic wall-clock, and even the various crocheted truisms all become mere stage props for the sizzling bowl of Grandpa’s chicken wings. Sweet and spicy, the top notes of black pepper, hollyberry, and hot pepper contribute to a familiar and calming aroma. An opening that seems to say “back in my day,” or more of a well-known jingle that speaks to nostalgia rather than any particular brand loyalty. It brings you back to the days of Grandpa’s kitchen experiments, where, like a mad scientist, he would emerge after hours of cursing new cookware to present either his own singed whiskers or some crazy flavor combo.

The middle note of honey cranberry provides an irresistible base of sweetness. You know it. He knows it. Grandma won’t like him having that extra sugar. Back when Grandma cracked down on the amount of red meat in the house, saying “You’re 60, you can’t have all those steaks anymore,” Grandpa replied, “well, I’m sure as hell not eating fish.” Enter Grandpa’s Hot Nuggets. They’re the perfect little compromise that makes the whole system work. The one cheat day that makes all those days of sacrifice and kale bearable. Besides, those bottom notes of maple, white meat accord, and eucalyptus make any attempt at moderation impossible. If you aren’t free to indulge in chicken wings, what else is safe?

Sure, lavender or pomegranate are wonderful scents, but lavender and pomegranate all the time leaves an itch to be scratched. Or rather, it leaves a particular craving. Like being hit with the stray scent of food while walking, you didn’t know you were craving a chicken wing candle until it hit you. It’s adventurous, just the right amount of crazy, and unique while still being familiar. So light up Grandpa’s Hot Nuggets, turn on the old television, framed with that imitation wood, and let the static settle on a classic. Take a cheat day with Grandpa.